I didn’t start this journey feeling powerful or divine.
I didn’t start it with confidence.
And I definitely didn’t start it knowing who I was.
No — I started this journey tired.
Tired of praying.
Tired of hoping.
Tired of begging God for change and waking up to the same pain, the same marriage problems, the same bills, the same emptiness.
I was doing everything they told me would “guarantee blessings.”
I prayed.
I fasted.
I tithed.
I served.
I tried to earn worthiness.
And yet, my life felt like it was falling apart in slow motion.
Heartbroken.
Embarrassed.
Confused.
And exhausted in a way that sleep couldn’t fix.
There was a point where I literally said to God:
“If I have to go through this just to get blessed,
I don’t even want it anymore.”
I wasn’t trying to be rebellious.
I was just… done.
Done trying to be the “good Christian woman” who suffers quietly.
I remember once my pastor told me I was called to minister to women — right in the middle of one of the most painful seasons of my marriage.
And I remember thinking:
“Lord… this cannot be the assignment.
I can’t even help myself. How am I supposed to help anybody else?”
I didn’t want to be a testimony.
I wanted relief.
I wanted to breathe again.
But even in my frustration, even in my disappointment, even when I tried to let go of God altogether — I couldn’t.
Because God wasn’t something outside of me to walk away from.
He was the life inside me that kept me getting up anyway
My Shift
It didn’t come from church.
It didn’t come from “doing better.”
It came from a video that led to many other videos with good information.
I wasn’t lacking faith.
I was just believing from the wrong identity.
The God I was praying to…
was the God already breathing inside of me.
I went down a rabbit hole of learning and becoming.
I had finally found some ‘Good News” that resonated with me. The Truest Version of Me.
God isn’t far.
God isn’t hiding.
God isn’t withholding.
God is within you.
Your awareness, your imagination, your consciousness — that’s Him.
And when I tell you learning that, woke up something inside of me.
It was like remembering who I had always been.
Prayer stopped being begging.
It became becoming.
Embodying.
Aligning.
Breathing with God instead of crying to Him.
And things started shifting.
Not overnight.
Not perfectly.
But undeniably.
This Blog
Becoming Her Divine Self is not a blog to inspire you.
It’s a space to wake you up to who you already are.
For the woman who:
- Loves God but is exhausted
- Believes but feels overlooked by life
- Has faith but wants power
- Knows there is more — but doesn’t know how to access it
You’re not crazy.
You’re not weak.
You’re not lacking faith.
You’re simply being called into your divine identity.
The woman you feel inside…
is real.
And I’m here to walk with you as you become her — fully, boldly, and beautifully.
Not by striving.
Not by performing.
Not by begging God to move.
But by recognizing:
You were never waiting on God.
God was waiting on you.
Becoming,
Roxie